Tuesday, May 3, 2011

What good is left out there?

Tonight, as I was sitting in my car I started thinking. I've been here on Okinawa the longest I've been anywhere in my life but it's also the place where I found myself as a person. Before being here for a second time I didn't know what I wanted to do when I graduated from college or where I stood on my beliefs. This place has defined who I am but now that I'm growing up I'm not so certain that I "belong" here anymore. I come from a place where greed controls humanity and success is defined by the amount of money you make. Now that I'm about to turn twenty I've started seeing things that way instead of trying to be successful in the sense of doing what makes me happy. If I had the choice I would stay here on Okinawa forever. I don't have that option though... my times running out. I've lost things that I loved and am left with a handful of things that I hate. I think that soon it will be time to move to a new place, start fresh, and attempt to live my life how society deems fit.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm afraid to grow up.